I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
