How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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