I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
