My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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