Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
