just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
