i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
