So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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