he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
