I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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