He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
