You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
