The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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