i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
