dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
