I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
