I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize