I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize