I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
