Did you just see the Batmobile???
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
