is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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