We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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