Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize