you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
