hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Randomize
