she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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