I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
