Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
