he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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