so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize