I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
