maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She just used a chaser for red wine.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
