please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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