we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw a hot homeless man
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize