his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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