Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
