can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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