Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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