Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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