We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think I have vodka in my lungs
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
