so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
