Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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