if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
