how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
