i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
