Duck Duck Cougar?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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