she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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