Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
