I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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