just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
