Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He felt like a one man threesome
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
