I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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