I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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