i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
