Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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