I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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