we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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