He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
