Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
