last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
