i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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