What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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