She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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