I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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