Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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