I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
