Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i think i just lost a toe
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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