I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
