I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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