How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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