Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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