it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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