Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
