Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
