I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
