i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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