I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
