you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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